Chasing the Teumessian vixen.

Pillion review – 50 shades of BDSM Wallace and Gromit in brilliant Bromley biker romance (Peter Bradshaw in Cannes, you have been warned).

But, anyway:

Soon Ray is requiring the gigglingly thrilled Colin to cook and clean and shop for him (though of course never permitted touch his motorbike) and sleep on the floor like a dog at his bland house in Chislehurst*

Safeword for unbearable ponceyness, no?

*CHISLEHURST!!!, the subtle connotations of which I have previously discussed.

***

Let me cleanse the timeline with this adorable story about saving the Welsh watervole by making its poo glittery: Endangered water voles in Wales are being fed edible glitter in a bid to save them from extinction:

The hope is that if the water voles are willing to consume the glitter then it will come out in their poo, allowing the small mammals - which are often mistaken for brown rats - to be tracked by conservationists.
Different colours of glitter could be used to allow conservationists to track different families of water voles and how far they range.

This week's bread: managed for the first time in yonks, to score a bag of Shipton Mill Three Malts and Sunflower Organic Brown Flour, so made up a loaf of that, v tasty.

Friday night supper: the hash-type thingy with the last 2 sweet potatoes cut up, boiled, and then sauteed with chopped red bell pepper and Calabrian salami.

Saturday breakfast rolls: Tassajarra method, strong brown flour, maple syrup, cranberries, nice.

Today's lunch: seabream fillets, rubbed with ginger paste and lime juice, salt and pepper, and left for a couple of hours then panfried in butter + olive oil, splashed with the remaining juice at the end; served with baby Jersey Royal potatoes roasted in goosefat, large flat mushrooms marinated in dark soy sauce (was meant to be tamari but I didn't have any) + mirin + tspn toasted sesame oil + star anise boiled up together, then healthy-grilled, and asparagus steamed and tossed in melted butter with lemon juice and lemon zest.

There’s no excuse for ugly people’: controversial dentist Mike Mew on how ‘mewing’ can make you more attractive:

The orthodontist’s strange mouth exercises are beloved by incels seeking a manlier shape – and a fast-growing TikTok trend in classrooms around the world. So why has he been struck off the dentists’ register?

But honestly. This is probably because I have an perhaps unusual knowledge of medical (including dental) quackery and its promotion, and common themes are:

There Is One Big Reason For All Your Problems

And

One Simple Trick (which I have) To Fix Them.

(Cites here, so that you know that I am not making this up all out of my own head, to Alex Comfort, The Anxiety Makers, Ann Dally, Fantasy Surgery, and a tip of the hat to Rob Darby, A Surgical Temptation.)

Okay, this is at the other end of the alimentary canal to Sir Arbuthnot Lane's Cure For All Evils (caused by Chronic Intestinal Stasis), but I think we can see the pattern repeating here.

Not saying that maybe, somewhere in this, there is something that may be helpful in some, specific cases, but let us consider e.g. radium in the 1920s. Yes, it was really, really useful in treating certain forms of cancer: it was not a cure-all and downing massive amounts of radium tonic just left a person, well, radioactive, if the tonic actually contained any active principle at all.

I am also boggled at the assumptions about beauty, and trying not to comment on this guy's own appearance, but to remark that the Hapsburgs ruled swathes of Europe for centuries without manly square jaws, hmmm, plus, has this chap ever been into an art gallery in his life??? Is there one pattern of beauty or are there many?

Just reading what he thinks the epitome makes me want to assert the true loveliness of consumptive pallor, heightened by just a touch of hectic feverish flush, wilting picturesquely on a fainting couch.